Monday, December 24, 2012

yesterdays eventfulness...

Went to Church with the bestie.. not overly religious and its like a miracle to get me into the place on my own. I just dont fell it necessary to have to leave the comfort of my bed to get dressed to sit and be bored for two hours listening to someone else's view on scripture...

Honestly, thats what school is for only there is less yelling

But yesterday i was brought to tears when they asked us to pray for ourselves. And they did this after we had a conversation with God. to praise Him. i dont know what it was but i think it had to do with me always watching out for everyone and ignoring my problems, that to take those few minutes to focus on me and my wants and needs was a bit much for me.

And i cried... not like full blown tears and dry heaving with boogers down my nose.. i held that shit in. but really i just wanted to breakdown right then and there. I guess i'm so oblivious to my own self that i never really considered what i actually wanted.

i didn't pray for financial success, i din't pray for anything materialistic, i pray for guidance, i prayed for Him to guide me on the right path, i prayed for whatever trials He's set forth to make me a better person, i prayed for Him to heal my heart, I prayed for Him to help me in doing what he believes is best for me, i prayed for His strength to help me in dealing with all that he has set forth for me...

I prayed and I cried... cause i never really thing about myself that way

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