i dont know what itvis but im not really feeling things this holiday season, its been thatvway for like a year or two now. im just not in the spirit.
i dont know if its the idea that im entering the new alone again, or not having anyone to celebrate with, or if its just the sameness that gets to me...
i just know that im not happy hell when they put up xecorations in the office i get down right pissed of with all things xmas... new years is welcomed with me in bed watching the ball drop or just locked in my room with depressing thoughts...
the outward appearance does not match the inner turmoil... i look like i dont carebut really i do