Monday, July 29, 2013

Sunday Spa Day & Product Review: Mixed Chicks

Hi all, So Sunday was my Pamper Me day simply because i had the house to myself (mom left with little man to go to a friends church fair in CT  and Chris went to his girls house)

:::sigh..forever alone:::

Any who... had me a CurlKit sample spa day.. yep you heard me ive been hoarding these samples for a while now so i put them to use. I used Pooka's Mint n'Roses Spa Soak: It had dried roses, peppermint oil, epsom salt n fragrance... it said body n feet.. so i just dumped it in my tub.. it was ok, i had a nice soak and scrubbed my feet afterwards for my pedicure =)

I had the Yum Yum - Limoncello soy candle burning in the background while my Ed Sheeran station blasted from Pandora and i Candy Crush was on my tablet... yup i was savoring my spa time lol. The lemon scent was light and i enjoyed it mixed it with the roses and peppermint that filled my bathroom.

So while i was soaking my hair was soaking in ACV & Oil mixture cause i had od product buildup from the week. I was looking through my sample bag and was crossed between Giovanni's and Mixed Chicks, Mixed Chicks won simply because of the leave-in.

I had gotten two separate sample boxes which seemed like enough for my hair.

First off, I have a love/hate relationship with their Clarifying Shampoo.. works great as a clarifying my scalp felt awesome and was able to breathe but it stripped my hair something terrible. Like i haven't felt my ends that dry and suffering in a very very long time. But the deep conditioner saved it tremendously. And it is something that i will definitely purchase again in the future as a full sized product. I put that in and detangle my hair, it had slip but my hair was a mess from the shampoo so yea my head was tender afterwards.. le sigh. The leave-in works jsut as well too. I was happy with it and again would purchase a full size product in the future as well.

So i give the Mixed Chicks products i tried a 4.5/5 simply because of the clarifying shampoo stripping my hair. Other than it works great.. i kinda forgot why i was iffy on trying it (totally avoiding the ingredients right lol) but its cool. I may try their sulfate free shampoo if i can find a sample of it. If not the oh well.

Pics tomorrow for the hair =)

Friday, July 26, 2013

New Music

so my ipod has been at war with connecting to my laptop and vice versa so its been almost a year since i added any new music to it..

and now... for some odd reason they decided to end their dispute and i can finally add music =)


so of course ive been downloading and updating my ipod like crazy these past few days.. and been doing so using a youtbe converter cause lord knows im not paying for music and finding and downloading is just as much of a headache as it sounds...

ive come across a few new artists, ie Ed Sheeran & Imagine Dragons and some new albums from some of my favorites ie OneRepublic,M.I.A, Paramore and the like .. since ive been living under a rock it seems...

but the new artists Lianne La Havas and Allen \Stone are a must share if you love a funk, soul, indie rock type feel =)

And honestly its been a while since ive said that i can listen to a whole album without skipping songs and these two artists right here are on point.

Listen, Love, Download

Quote of the Day

I've been giving you love, and you've been giving me conjugal visits - Allen Stone, "Satisfaction"

.....all i have to say for this line right here is wow can this fit how i feel sometimes any better

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Tell me about myself

So i was talking to one of my friends last night.. for over and hour we was sitting there catching up and shit.. singing 'push it' from salt n peppa over the phone (dont ask.. she started it) and HE came up...

i mean why wouldn't he.. we havent spoken in months for some reason and i felt the need to bring her up to speed with that. she's known about him from the beginning and has listened to everything thats been happening between us so far.. so the need to feel her in is an essential one.

OF course, she feels some type of way about him as my best friend does and they both agree that i have a weak spot for him and should let him go. i agree with them on that.. but not wholeheartedly. i want to let him go and then again i dont.

same with being in a relationship with him as well, should that question ever arise in the far distant future. I want but then again i dont. he has so many marks against him and its a constant push and pull on my emotions when dealing with him. he'll say one thing that makes me change my mind on letting go but then he does something that brings it back full force.

i told her this and she began to tell me about myself.. that its all because i love him. i cant move on because im stuck in a continuous cycle of being hurt and im holding onto that hurt making it impossible to get where i want to be romantically and emotionally with another person. 

that was the gist of what i got from her and she's right..

i am holding onto a lot of hurt despite the 'i dont give a fuck' facade i put on. its all there simmering underneath the mask. and no matter how much i can convince myself that im not bothered by it.

i am.

im hurt by my first love making me scared to give myself to someone else. im scared to tell someone how i feel because so far no guy has felt the same way, because so far ive been rejected twice by the guys that ive chosen to give my heart and body to. they'll take my body and i let them convinced that my heart is no longer a factor and i can use them as much as they use me. 

but it takes it toll in the long run.

my tongue has permanent teeth marks from my biting the words 'i love you' to hold still in my mouth. but still i hold fast to him because for now i dont want to let go. being on my own doesnt scare me, ive been on my own for the longest. its the loss of what i experienced with him that im scared of losing. its the loss of what he evokes from me.. that i dont want to give up.

but i want to at the same time. im tired of the teeth marks on my tongue. im tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop and the fear of him finally saying that he's tired of me not that hes given any indication of the sort.

i just want to let go of my feelings of inadequacies in terms of giving myself to another in a relationship.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Quote of the Day

"Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are." Niccolo Machiavelli

Simple, dont just hide behind your mask, dont hide who are you, but then again only open up to the people who matter to you just as much as you matter to them

Talks About Him

So i was with the bestie's the other day and kizz n I ended up talking about him. and why they havent met yet.

its been 3 years...

Of course I talk about him to them cause at times i dont know what to do or even why i still stick around but the answer is pretty simple, that all these ups & downs, feelings of letting go but wanting to stick around, is because i love him despite all the downsides.

She pretty much has no feelings what so ever towards him but is willing to tolerate his existence because like i said for some odd reason i love him. He already has so many black marks in her books but she doesnt understand and does understand. And for that im grateful. as much as i wouldnt let a guy get in between us, i want us to all be cool with each other despite how things have started.

lord knows i would never choose a guy over my friends or family, that just isnt me. and i would never stick with someone to spite them either. i want to be with him because he make me happy and if they cant see that then thats fine.

i dont aim to please anyone and everyone.

yea hes a sweet guy but we could be so much further than we are if he would just open his eyes. but i wont push him. he has to see it on his. if ive learned something in life about men it is that. they do not like to be pushed in a direction nor being told where to go or what to do do, they must find the realization on their own. a few subtle, helpful hints along the way is useful, but nothing direct and forceful when it comes to big decisions.

so i will sit back and bide my time just a little bit longer before i really let go.

a girl can only wait but for so long and i will not end up being stuck in a loop going nowhere with him.

i cant keep doing that to myself.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Quote of the Day

“ It’s hard to be yourself, when you don’t know who you are.”
William Chapman

true....very true

this quote right here, just spoke to me especially after reading a post Krys wrote on facebook on the Trayvon Martin case

To those who are saying It's not about race ------> "Part of how we know this is about race is the fear black families feel because of this verdict." Looking at social media, all of those I'm connected to (most of whom are Black) are wondering what to say to their sons/how to protect them. Hell, I don't even have a son yet and I'm wondering.

We're are suppressing ourselves in fear of being hurt, rejected, scorned, judged, misinterpreted and the like and people wonder why there is so much fakeness around them. no one can be who they really want to be and that in itself causes a loss of self, a loneliness at knowing that a piece of you will ever be accepted. hiding from yourself and others is a chore that unfortunately comes easy to the masses and to some its easier than facing the truth. but what happens when lies come to light, when its your turn to face judgement, when you have to look at yourself in the mirror everyday not recognizing the eyes staring back at you.

Find out who you are first before you bring someone else into the mix. accept yourself, love yourself and others will accept and love you the same

Overbooking Yourself

So i need to learn to keep my mouth shut about my free days...

for some reason i decided to tell about 3-4 different people that i'll be free on friday and we should do this that and the third...

really all i want to do is sleep...

and you know make that feeble attempt to do something with my room since JoJo wants to come over and take a look at my inventory for ASOM

honestly the pictures are up of everything i have, the pieces are 0.75-2in at most with a few 3-4in Africa Continent pieces. i dont see why she has to be special


talking bout i should carry them with me to show off.... NO
thats just too much.. ill carry a look book at best

now, theres thrift shopping with Krys.. stopping over to see Kizz to fix an earring for someone... and maybe seeing Josue after his interview (maybe)....
[them i will gladly do anything with]

i feel like im forgetting something but oh well ::shrug::

why am i doing this to myself on my day off?


i just wanna get shit done thats why.. unfortunately

i can deal with my girls its JoJo

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Afro State Of Mine Designs: What its All About

Afro State of Mine, more commonly know by its acronym ASOM (a-some) is a jewelry line that i founded and shared with my two best friends in the hopes of working together on a project i believed was just right for us. When i first thought of the idea of ASOM it was not as a jewelry line but a hair accessory line, starting off with hand knitted/crocheted berets because i couldn't find one big enough to go over my twa fro at the time. And it was a good idea to start off with, the were going to be lined with satin scarves so naturalistas wouldn't have to worry about their hair being ripped by fabric snagging on it.

But then  i met Samantha Martin of MoonRae jewelry at a natural hair event about 2 years ago. I had bought earrings from her at the event and i loved them. I went to her site on Etsy and bought another 2 pairs there. While it was my first time on the site, i decided to do a bit of exploring. It was then i discovered where she bought her earrings from. While they were hand painted the pieces themselves were bought pre-cut. I was hooked since then. I decided that hey i can do this too. So i combed through their collection and focused on using their adinkra pieces and researched everything that they had, the meanings and what they stood for. I bought 3 symbols for friends and family, i set of sample paints, earring, hooks and jump rings and i was set.

Everyone loved it, though the jump rings i bought were small, i learned what sizes to buy. Also to keep the metal hypoallergenic just in case of allergies. I made a few as Christmas presents and others as birthday gifts or something for a friend to help model and promote for the line. I was happy with the response. Working with the girls we came each came up with future ides of what we wanted to try: stickers, pins, custom made letter man jackets for ourselves, t shirts, button earrings, fabric necklaces, wire jewelry, leather jewelry, rings, bracelets... everything.

Im glad that i have them on the team and even though things are slow right now... money isn't an issue with us.  And will never be one. We wont let something so small ruin our friendship despite what everyone is saying about friends being in business together. Its not like that with us. WE all chip in and do what we can. We will take credit for out own work. and we acknowledge each other skills for that. right now its all about promoting and doing what we can.. money can come later.

ASOM isn't just a jewelry line for us, its an extension of ourselves, our creative minds, our teamwork, our love in creating something beautiful out of something simple as a piece of wood or scrap of fabric. It is an enhancement of ones own beauty, it is the sharing of an art, its the learning of a culture, it is the joy in trying something new. Give our line a chance to grow and give a chance in getting to know us.

Etsy Shop  *** Facebook *** Instagram *** Pinterest

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

My "Good Morning"

Consisted of gettin outta bed ah 3 sumtin inna di mawnin and adhering to the whims of "Him" and his necessity to see me at an indecent hour knowing my alarm goes off for work at 6 (mind you im always late for work lol)


as usual i try to put him out of my mind and just when i think im ready to let go he comes in and says/does something that makes me stay jsut a little bit longer. Half the time i dont know why im trying or what im even trying for anymore.

He says i make him smile
He says he really likes me, like he had to assure me of the fact, that despite the lack of everything he really likes me ::shrug:: obviously
he makes the time when he can, granted not at normal hours, but he makes an effort.

but (and of course there's a but) there is no consistency, we will go weeks to months without speaking.. some days i'm fine with it, other days i find myself waking up at 2,3,4 o'clock in the morning wishing i wasn't sleeping alone, wishing that he would answer a text, but life's not about getting what we want....

i am trying to hold myself back from him because it makes no sense to give him my all when i'm getting less than half in return...

but this man is not making it easy for me at all

feel like i should change the title of this posts, but no matter what mixed feelings he invokes in me afterwards, my time spent with him is always good aside from that one morning where he is still going to apologize for for quite a while

(called me at 3 to take a cab to his parents house.. mind you it's a 10 min walk away... so i walk, get there he doesnt answer his phone, i wait 20 min callin, as im getting ready to leave his sis comes home and lets me in, i go hes knocked, i ask if he wants me to stay he says no.. of course my feelings were hurt.. a few tears dropped but i was alright... walked home, left him a lovely detailed text message thanking him for the invite and aforementioned events... he called i declined, he left a message apologizing explaining that he was drunk -____- now of course i was like yea sure, ok.. called him back in about an hour or so cause that was how much time out of my sleep i wasted, let him still feel bad he deserves it... though he still cant believe that he said that he didnt want me to stay.. well good cause neither could i)

anyway... yea

Monday, July 15, 2013

Natural Hair Stars: Kinky COllaborative & CurlKit Event

So a few weeks ago, as you can see ive been slacking on my posts, I attended the Natural Hair Stars event hosted by the Kinky Collaborative and Curlkit at the People's Lounge... the place was nice had a great ambiance (open bar & free candy... yay sou power straws!) and of course some great vendors. There was a woman who made natural hair inspired greeting cards, andother who made hair accessories and of course Curlkit had a table for new subscribers. 

It was a great networking night, we, as in Krystal & I.. well mostly Krystal (i have her do the PR) talked to our fellow Naturalistas about the jewelry line, gave out cards, showed off our earrings, and talked with bloggers, fashionistas, hair models, etc. we also spoke with Karen Tappin of KBB, and she was such a lovely woman and told me that she was very proud of the work i was doing and that she would look  into =)

So i would say all in all a good night.. especially when we found out it was open bar =)

But it was a nice small get together, and that i definitely liked =)

BET'S New Show "Being Mary Jane" (Jan 2014)





i  was feeling all type of something with this show and it left me feeling vulnerable afterwards because pretty much i feel the same way in terms of me finding my perfect someone, a guy just using me as a side chick, having feelings for a guy and things not working out and ending up back with him in the end, trying to deal with family and them taking you for granted.. things like that


Honestly they should not have done that.. there was so much going on in this show and so many of a womans secrets being revealed... masturbating before meeting guy, cleaning yourself up with the wipes and last but not least the jaw dropping moment of the baster with the condom..

that right there, i was just like wtf, especially when she did a segment on her show about women stealing sperm... sigh, LIFE!

Familial issues were a huge thing as well, communication between siblings is a must, interdependence is a must but not to the point where you're taking advantage of your families kindness.. also watch your kids, i mean Janes neice was on her 3rd child and it didnt even sound like she was even on her way to being finished with HS yet, let alone a junior... all im saying is the morals and values that the parents/grandparents should be teaching has be lost on the brother and his children...

LEts talk about her affair with the married man Shall We... that right there was another dramatic piece because she went so far as to tell the wife about their affair. AS much as i would want to know about the cheating i would rather, find out on my own or hear it from my partner never from the person that he was with.. that alone is just wrong

BET got it right with this pilot episode and i dont even watch the damn channel anymore but i will be on there for this!

So many posts... so little time

i actually have a few drafts on here.. call it like 8 that have been sitting for the past couple weeks and i have been super lazy about putting them up and just plain ol busy with work and other things...

life has been prety slow lately and i just dont have the regular motivation that i had in the beginning of the year...

I must say that i had good news last week.. I got in the Hunter SSW for non matriculation for the fall (yay me!!!!), ill be able to take a few classes before i apply for matriculation for the fall of 2014. at least these classes that im taking now will shave off a few credits if and when i get in next year =)

ASOM Designs (online shop) has a few interview requests by a few bloggers. Our friend Diamond Craig CEO and founder of Purposefully Pretty (also on facebook) wants to feature us on her site. Sarah of Sisterhood of Natural Hair, LLC (also on facebook) a lovely woman that makes her own hair accessories that we met at the Kinky Collaborative & CurlKit Natural Hair Stars Event a week or so ago, along with Iris of Akamissi .

ASOM also had their first etsy order shipped to CHICAGO! (whooo!) and i had a call about a wholesale order (but im not banking too much on that the guy still has yet to hit me up with any new information.. ::shrug::) I'm just happy that we are getting more than just custom orders now. We also have the fabric button earrings up.. T-Shirts are still in the process of being thought off we have to do a few test shirts before we make anything official in the next month or so.


Thats about it.. my love life sucks as usual.. no dates, or hints of new interests though 4th of July was an awesome day (my body was sore for almost a week ::wink wink:: )

Started doing yoga in Bryant Park (honestly have to remember to eat something slightly heavy beforehand so i wont feel like throwing up again) and it was fun, i had a good time definitely will be doing that again.. or mi might just sign up for classes down at the gym.

and thats.. pretty much it for me... (made some coconut lime chicken yesterday... soooo gooood!)

Friday, July 12, 2013

Guide us home. By Bad actress

Finally watched tyler perry's temptation.. really loved that movie and the ending song really spoke to me

"let love guide us home..."