Monday, April 29, 2013

He Called, He Stopped By...

SO let me begin by saying that HE, the one that i have been trying to get over for the longest, the one who was the second person to reject my feelings for them, and the one who i've experienced so much with..

Called me at 4' something saturday morning

Why? because in his words "i am the only weird person that would still be up at such an hour"

Honestly i had to look at my phone like who the hell was calling me so early in the morning because the number wasn't familiar AT ALL! and then he started talking some FBI nonsense but when he went into ninja mode i was just like ugh.. this loser lol

the time we spent together was nice, we stayed on the phone talking until he drove up to my house mostly BS talk that made no sense and us catching up. He was down for his dads birthday and I was just a stop on the way i guess. We hung out for a few hours, talked about the changes we saw in each other, he bought me a vanilla chai, We kissed  =)

In a way we were both using each other, i had to see if my feelings were still there or if his changed. Mines did and his pretty much stayed the same. Yea we made out for a bit, some kissing and heavy petting but to me it wasnt the same... like i said i dont feel anything for him anymore.

I told him that i didnt think that we would see each other again, like ever. and he was like why? i just said we hardly talk or see each other as is, so why wouldn't i think that, yes i know he works 12 hour shifts and stuff, and now i know he has an apartment up in CT where my girl used to pick me from the train station when i used to visit her up there, hes cemented up there. I dont see why we should try to continue anything here.

Im not a selfish person but i will be selfish in this. i want someone who i can talk to often, doesnt have to be everday, or even if they are overworked who will at least hit me up once in a while to let me know that they're ok, hell alive even. I dont mind not having physical contact i can deal without it, but i need to hear from you more than once every few months.


anyway i told him that i worked on getting rid of my feelings for him and forgetting about him and he said he was sorry, i told him dont worry bout it.. i never told him i succeeded.

any way, he dropped me home, and asked me to call him later...
did i.. yes (twice)
did he answer....

Again, sigh..

cant say i didnt abide by his request

his birthday will probably be the last time he hears from me...
just a week away

No comments:

Post a Comment