where is the ltm?

he forget...

its pretty simple. forgetting. the act of losing a memory of an action. but seriously of all things to forget, he forgets that i told him i loved him. i dont know whether to cry or just say fuck it and forget myself. im so mixed with my feelings right now, theres also a bit of relief in his forgetting.

another weight lifted but a heavier weight gained.

he asked me if i cared and i wanted to say of course i care, i love you. but i just had to bring up the email. yea its been over a year but it was a big event, i dont go pouring out my emotions to people so rawly especially for no reason.

man, i wish i could go and re read it but i deleted it on my end (yea theres a copy somewhere) . i hope he does but doesnt read it at the same time. you know...

sigh...

in the end i got a weekend full of him even if it was just for an hour or so... i missed him, i missed the conversations, the kisses, his touch... and of course i went the extra mile and had sex with the guy but its fine cause who knows when ill see his face again...

i did tell him though that i had deleted his number, had the intention of not speaking to him past his birthday, that i tried to forget about him,us... he just said he'll keep coming back, bringing back memories and making new ones.

this guy!

stopping cold turkey didnt work, avoiding him definitely didnt work, not thinking about him really wont work...

there should be a handbook on love.