Poem: Soon I Will Be by KC Burke

And I told you
that i am not ready

I am still learning
about the world
and myself

I am still growing
into who i am
into who i think i
should be
and who i want to be

I am slowly forming
into an individual
that I want
my family to be proud of...
that my friends are aiming towards...
that my future husband and children are in awe of!

my future self will be ready
but my self now is not

A.Soul

Poem: Happiness Becomes Me by KC Burke

I am happy
And in my happiness
I want to squeal....
              girlishly
to jump and dance,
              do my happy jig!
to clap my hands and
              stomp my feet...
to scream:
              YES! YES! YES!

Can you tell....
              I am happy!


A.Soul


Wrote this when i found out we went international with ASOM Designs

Poem: Unsaid Words

I am silent,
cause you give me
no reason
to speak

You are silent
because
you have no words to say

I am stifled
under the words that
threaten
to break free

You are ignorant
to your unseen hold
on my tongue

I am baffled
at your inability to see
Me...
waiting

And you,
you are
....well, its too late now
I am gone.

Poem: Dare by KC Burke

He hurts me without thinking, without knowing, without care
He kills my heart so slowly, bit by bit, its just not fair
He rids me of my feelings, my subconscious, its severe
He plagues in constant daydreams, wishful thinking, but he's not here
He strips of my senses, leaves me breathless, so unaware
He takes away my barriers, my sentinels, I am bare
My heart is in his hands, my own are empty, he doesn't share
My love is for the taking, will he take it...
Does he dare?
The answer lies in silence, will I ask it, will I risk it, will I chance it...
Do I dare?

KCB.

Poem: I Will not Be Held Down

So,

You want me despite my fears
my aches
my inner turmoils

You want me despite my inabilites
my ineptitude
my naivety

you want to have a hold on my smile
my laughter
my free spirit

you want to quiet my mind,
still my wishful thinking
delay my hopes for the better

for the future..

i say no

no,
to the hold that you have on my mind
its  is free
it is opinionated
its judges and hold bias

my fears will become conquered
my naivety will gain experience and truth
my own turmoils will be outgrown

with a helping hand or by my own
i will not be held down
i will play by the rules
but i will test their weight

KCB.

Poem: Ignore the Pessimism

can you for one second
put aside your thoughts
of what is,
what could be,
what should be,
and what would have?

and just listen...

listen to your heart,
your feelings,
your intuition,...

give into that gut wrenching
butterfly feeling
that maybe,
just maybe,
this situation, idea
this notion,
this belief,
that everything will be

alright.

KCB.

Poem: Emotional Distance II

I am at an emotional standstill

i feel and then i do not
i am cautious yet uncaring
i am aloof and naive
yet alert and aware
i want it but then i don't
i am there but then i'm not
im ready but still so ill prepared

'we' are, then, its 'you and i'
separate but together
sometimes 'we', sometimes 'him and her'

what are we?
but a nameless couple, inches apart
parallel with curves
away from each other
towards each other
intersecting at the right point
within us
and others

i want us to blend into one line
to shade imperfectly
not outshining
but complimenting

i want it but then i dont
i want you, sometimes us, sometimes we
but
then i dont
i dont know where we are
what we are
if i should continue to feel
this
when i want to feel so much more
but
then
i dont

i am compromised
in my emotions
and i dont know where to go

i, am at
an
emotional
standstill

KCB.

Poem: Emotional Distance

an emotional distance
is easier said than done
to keeps ones heart locked away
under shields of doubt
and uncertainty
under keys of inhibitions
and sacrfice
under thoughts of "what ifs"
or "they said they could never"

but could they?...

hope for the future
turns abysmal and dark
its starkness stretching across
the huge expanse
of wishful thinking
leaving you overwhelmed
and uncertain
insecure of your own truths,
your beliefs in him,
her,

us.

KCB.

Poem: His Kisses

his kisses...

oh, his kisses
bruise my lips
a fire trails
where he touches
turns me molten
at my core

oh, his kisses
whispers across my skin
calling it to life
vibrating to the
rhythm of his
tongue

oh, his kisses
sips at my lips
pulls the breath from my lungs
brings stars to my eyes
tears at its corners
in intensity
and tenderness

oh, his kisses

KCB.

Poem: Trying to Be by KC Burke

These past couple of days
i have felt
lost
in my own
skin
i look in the mirror
barely recognizing
my own reflection
i feel out of place
at home
work feels like a memory
that im trying to relive
habits are unnecessary
and feel forced
unreal
conformity
to my own past actions
inhibit
future
intentions
my motivation to do anything
or more
is
lacking
my feelings, feel
fake and
stagnant
i am in a rut
with
my emotions
i am as i feel
and i feel
empty

KCB.

Poem: Constant Looper by KC Burke

i am stuck
in a continuous loop
of
letting go
forgetting
remembering
and taking you in

my heart
is in
constant
turmoil
with this
back
and
forth

and
i

i
am trying
to find the
fork in the road
my wrongs turns
need to make
right

Poem: My Something or My Everything by KC Burke

If I cannot give you my everything
Will you take my anything?
My love that will smother you,
My heart that will yearn for you,
My body that will lust for you,
My mind that will constantly think of you

If not my anything,
will you take my something?
My antics that will annoy you,
My sarcasm that will kill you,
my anger that will swallow you,
My silence that will drown you

So will it be
my something,
my anything
or will you take the chance
and wait for
my everything

KCB.

*again another lost poem hidden in the cracks of my world*
*have no clue when this was written but i think its been over a year or so*

poem: untitled for now...

I loved you once before

      but it was not enough

to reach and hold you

      for you to love me

on your own

and i knew it from the start

      that it would never be

so i hid myself from you

     and downplayed my heart

and now...

    

silence consumes us both


(its a work in progress.. i think)

Poem: The Beat of My Heart by KC Burke

(found this in my facebook notes... did not know i used it more than once lol)

this heart of mine beats

to a rhythm all its own

it thumps, jumps, skips, and stalls

at the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touch

of life.

but not jus life itself,

it beats to the rhythm of your life

the sight of you,

the sound of your voice,

the way you smell,

the way you taste,

the feel of your touch,

makes my heart beat

to the rhythm you excite in me.

as long as you're around

this cadence will never grow old

and this beat will go marchin on forever

3/13/11

Poem: Every Day's Vday

THE HEARTS FALL
OR
THEY SWELL IN PRIDE
OR
HIDE BEHIND BARBED WIRES
OR
CLAIM TO HOLD STRINGS ON ANOTHER
OR
TWO
MONEY IS SPENT ON FRUGALITY
TRYING TO MAKE MEMORIES
THAT EXCEED THE EVERYDAY
ONLY TODAY SEEMS DULL
FAKE
TO THE EYES OF THE EVERYDAY
ALL DAYS ARE SPECIAL
TECHNICALITIES IN A NAME
OR OF IT
MEAN NOTHING
SHOWER YOUR LOVE
THROUGH YESTERDAYS
TODAYS
AND TOMORROWS
MAKE THAT SPECIAL PERSON
SPECIAL
EVERY
SINGLE
FUCKING
DAY

poem: when the wind blows

howling across the lands
wailing in between the trees
whispering on hushed leaves

they dance
swirling
as
petals sway

im calm and carry tunes
in rage you hear my cries
tears of anguish and frustration

whipped at your face
slashing at your sides

you are defenseless against me
i am always around
and you
cannot hide forever
from these soft or woeful

sighs

Poem: .... in my head

i fear the future
only because
of my uneasiness in the present
my insecurities rear their ugly heads
and my inadequacies known

i am not consise in my wants

my own desires contradict themselves
but the knowledge is there
its in the basic structure
there are only complexities in the design

how do i fare on a daily basis
when my mind wanders far and wide
away from the goals i set myself
away from what i think i want
from where i think i should be

i hide in the comfort of my everyday

i hide because it is easy

i dont want to be scared anymore
i want to.confront my fears
i.want to face my heart
i want to make myself known
to myself

i just dont know the steps i should take...

Poem: Ode to the New Year

Finally its ending
never stopping in its continuity
but numbered only in human context

from 365/366 to 1
from week 52 to 1
the records start anew
resolutions start anew
time starts for some
stops for most
and dwindle for many

for the earth will continue
on its revolutions
spinning in its infinity
we are only passerby
some will stand out more than most
victims of technicalities
of talents and intelligence
of breakdowns in the psyche

records will only be that
births
deaths
a certificate of our presence
a sample of our lives
a show of our schooling
a show of our talents
a show of our capacity to share
a sample of our voice

365-366 days
52 weeks
numbers only for the human cortex
our time here is temporary
our memory will fade
our being will crumble

but
we do
exist.

Poem: Familial Dispute

So i was mad about the gift (a little) more so on my mothers comment:

I want to shout out in anger
Scream obscenties
and tell truths
about myself
about you
I want to vent my frustrations
I need to speak out vexations
I have to let it out
before it consumes me
before you think its okay
to let me feel
unsure of myself
tormented by your opinion
flustered by your attutidue
its not okay for me to be this way
its not okay for me to feel this hate
and dislike
for family
the words spewing out of your mouth
are tasteless
and leave no room to remedy
its effects on my being
I am hurt
I am sad
I perplexed iwth my emotions
Feel free to let up on your opinions
Or continue to bash my being
in jest

ah my mother, didnt like the fact that i didnt like how she joked in calling me an 'alcoholic' well tuff! not everything is rainbows and butterflies

Poem: Sometimes I cry

They fall silently
tracing paths along my face
They feel hot
and grow cold
As most feelings do
They drip down
Forgotten
as they fall
that first tear
When did it fall
When did it become so much to bear
So much to hide
That the only way to show it
To show the pain
The unbearable ache within my chest
Was through these salty tears
Is it impossible to live forever
In those minute moments of happiness
Why must the reality of the everyday make itself know
Make my loneliness
Make my missing you
A beacon in the haze of my 'existing'
its overwhelming to know
that i am only going through the motions
Monotonous and tired in its sameness
I am tired
and scared
and alone
I am vulnerable
and desperate
tormented and unsure
In those moments
....I cry