A Virgo does not give love freely. You must be intelligent, ambitious and kind.
and that is the truth about me if you must know. i dont give out love easily. i am wary of others until i know they are genuine in their affections. but then again i fall in love fast at times. there are certain qualities that call out to me such as being sure of who you are and what you want, having an intended goal in mind of being what you want in life or least where you want to be in life. also i need someone that i feel comfortable around, someone i can joke around with but still have serious conversations, someone who i can get lost in listening to while they speak with passion of their passions. someone who is not grounded in one genre but has an eclectic taste such as myself in music and art. i dont need a boy but a growing man: dont sag, dont put down others, dont cling (god i hate clingy people, if i dont do it neither should you!), and respect the need for personal space at times. someone who respects the quiet is alright with me. im not a party person, im not much of a drinker, i dont smoke (cigs are a no-no... weed is fine for you, lol), im not big on heels and make-up, i dont do dresses and skirts... often. so long as you dont try to change me or i you.. we are just fine
see how i go into rants... i done forgot what i was suppose to explain.
oh well, that the gist of what i look for and more into me i guess...
oh and yes, still unhapp-...happily... (shrug) single,
whatever,
it'll happen when it happens!
Hi, I told you all that I'm not big on the whole blogging thing in more on Tumblr or Twitter than anything else. Hell I even deactivated my facebook account. It was for multiple reasons, but mainly because I was trying to get over someone but the dude ended texting me the next day so fail on that part.
Lately its just like I want to start a relationship, a commitment, just something that would go from long term to forever. .. with him. And it's not going to happen.After much deliberation, denial, and ignoring, I finally came to terms with my feelings by a for him and I realized that I loved him. I also so realized that it was hopeless as well cause he didn't want the same things I did.
So I kept silent and buried my feelings til one day I unintentionally sent him an email admitting the depth of my feelings. big whoops on my part but I was glad I sent it even after he responded. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders and my heart but the depth of his answer bothered me more than I thought. I thought I was fine but after a few months I saw that it scarred me more than I thought.
I feel like my feelings aren't good enough, that I'm not good enough. And these feelings of inadequacy hurt more than any heart break ever could. I know that I'm being a bit irrational and over dramatic but you'd feel the same way of both guys you fell in love with denied you and moved into someone else. I’m okay in burying myself in work, tiring myself out to forget but it's the times when I'm awake and alone that suck the most. Because my thoughts always turn to him and what we don't have anymore.
I'm not looking for anyone cause I still want him. I'm not searching for Mr Right because I feel that he is it. But I'm not waiting for him either. We grew apart to grow on our own and to find ourselves. And also to find the ones we are meant to be with. The more I tell myself that the more real it will seem. So I'll accept what was inevitable from the beginning and work on being me to the fullest. Hopefully one day I'll meet someone who's willing to give their hearty back to me as I give my own to them.
