The let down..

So im such a debby downer sometimes that i envision ways of which situations can go wrong or the ways in which a situation can spiral out of control so that i will not be so ill prepared when the let down ensues. You call it pessimism i call it not being taken by surprise of sooner or later inevitable circumstances.. yea it wills til hurt but you already imagined it happening so it wont hurt a much...

So yea i pictured this in my mind, and me being me fashioned it after 19th century lit:

I had reason to believe that you harboured something towards my person. I, however, never figured it to be something like this so great in its magnitude. I must say quite frankly that you must excuse my misleading ways, please pardon any advances you believe that i have made towards you. But i cannot, will not, nor will i ever indulge in mirroring the feelings that you have acknowledged in yourself. I give great displeasure in any negativity that you may feel. But this would never have worked. I am a broken man. One that cannot be fixed any time soon. My own feelings are numb and i have like this numbness thus far. I do not intend upon hindering your smile nor your beautiful spirit. SO please do not become because i am a fool whom hath chosen to wallow in his own self pity than force himself to be happy. Look for the one who is looking for you and your happiness will forever me unmarred and my existence will no longer remain of any importance. You will forget about me and this childlike infatuation....

I think i phrased it quite nicely..To be told something like this would remedy any anger she/he has towards the other and warrant deeper inspection of ones own feelings. And it speaks something about my own issues as well.. being numb to my own feelings or the feelings of others..

the idea of being broken..