Black Girls Rock Performance

see i normally dont watch award shows or live tv performances much anymore cause they dont really deliver as reat as they used to... ill just listen to it in the background while my mother watches them in the next room

but this,

strong, strong performance and i loved it greatly.

SO MUCH WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh, i never realized how much work and money it went into being artistic.

i mean you have to pic your craft, come up with designs, buy supplies, put design on supply and god forbid you want to try something new, then you have to put in the work to learn the new things, buy the supplies for that and hope all goes well in the end.

ASOM Designs is my baby and i want it to go well. Im trying to have everything ready for the end of April to maybe mid May. Im glad im coming into some money that i m owed next week so i can put in my orders for the supplies.

It just hurts my pockets!!!!!

But its what i want to do right now.. so i must go forth and prosper!

The earrings were supposed to be the original jump of but now im getting into making pins, necklaces, some bracelets for the opening of the online store.

And i want to add scratch-offs with little inspirational sayings to put in with each order. And come holiday season those scratch-offs will contain codes for a certain percent off an order. I need to go over it with my team.

Good thing we're meeting next week cause im a little overwhelmed with all the ideas in my head. But i dont want to get too ahead of myself. Thank goodness for IG and word of mouth so at least ill know which ideas will play out with others and which wont...

All thats left is the business cards and the logo...

logo not so much cause its just the silhouette/side view of us three with our natural hair either styled or out in fro's.. who knows we'll work it out.

cards i have something in mind for that but the logo is needed in the end result...

sigh.. gonna be a rough couple of months!

Asa - So beautiful

Poem: Every Day's Vday

THE HEARTS FALL
OR
THEY SWELL IN PRIDE
OR
HIDE BEHIND BARBED WIRES
OR
CLAIM TO HOLD STRINGS ON ANOTHER
OR
TWO
MONEY IS SPENT ON FRUGALITY
TRYING TO MAKE MEMORIES
THAT EXCEED THE EVERYDAY
ONLY TODAY SEEMS DULL
FAKE
TO THE EYES OF THE EVERYDAY
ALL DAYS ARE SPECIAL
TECHNICALITIES IN A NAME
OR OF IT
MEAN NOTHING
SHOWER YOUR LOVE
THROUGH YESTERDAYS
TODAYS
AND TOMORROWS
MAKE THAT SPECIAL PERSON
SPECIAL
EVERY
SINGLE
FUCKING
DAY

Valentines Blues

do i have it... no

i mean i could have one any year if i put in the effort for it or if someone actually came up and asked but nah im good.i have my two K's as my valentine this year and when all else fails one is my forever valentine.

and we make the most of it.

normally we'd spend the day pigging out on take -out and some movies for the night

take a peak at one year:

so i dont need a guy for fun, the intimate stuff will come on its own one year, eventually

Brian Crain - Wind

poem: when the wind blows

howling across the lands
wailing in between the trees
whispering on hushed leaves

they dance
swirling
as
petals sway

im calm and carry tunes
in rage you hear my cries
tears of anguish and frustration

whipped at your face
slashing at your sides

you are defenseless against me
i am always around
and you
cannot hide forever
from these soft or woeful

sighs

i have a right to be selfish with my things...

so the other day, or more like a few times over, my mom called me selfish with my things. i have a right to be. i spent my money to buy these things for me because i liked it and i wanted it, or because i thought it a necessity at the time. i didnt buy it to share nor did i buy it for her.

and the reason behind my not sharing with my mother its that she doesnt know how to put things back after she 'borrows' it and i have to follow behind her to get my things back or in the end they are never returned because it is either missing or broken.

i dont go shopping often and when i do i buy pieces that you cant find anywhere else or are unique for me. so when my shit gets broken or lost its not that they can be easily replaced.

so right now im annoyed at the fact that i found a pair of broken earrings in my mothers bag that she never asked me to borrow. ive had those earrings for a few years now so i have the right to be annoyed also. and this is not the first time that this has happened. i remember a necklace that one of my elementary school teachers gave me as a gift, that i found broken at the side of the tub after she 'borrowed' it. hell, she she even has a pair of earrings now that she has yet to put back. i dont like that.

it just frustrates me that she can take someone elses things and not take care of it in the end.

so let me be selfish with my shit.

Poem: .... in my head

i fear the future
only because
of my uneasiness in the present
my insecurities rear their ugly heads
and my inadequacies known

i am not consise in my wants

my own desires contradict themselves
but the knowledge is there
its in the basic structure
there are only complexities in the design

how do i fare on a daily basis
when my mind wanders far and wide
away from the goals i set myself
away from what i think i want
from where i think i should be

i hide in the comfort of my everyday

i hide because it is easy

i dont want to be scared anymore
i want to.confront my fears
i.want to face my heart
i want to make myself known
to myself

i just dont know the steps i should take...