slowly getting there. ..

Its getting easier these days,  I find myself waking up and he's not the first thing on my mind. 

For that I am grateful! 

Before I would be consumed with thoughts of him and that was no bueno!

He'd be the first thing on my mind,  I would go on facebook just to look at his face and do the same thing at work and at night. 

Was I obssessed..  NO. 

I juust loved him that much that is being apart,  us not talking,  us not seeing each other for months on end bothered me. I was stressed and angry a lot and just being with him for a few hours or looking at a pic of him for a few minutes,  helped relieve that. 

I was using him as a crutch and that was not good. 

Me needing him like that when he didn't feel the same or need me in that was not good. Me realizing how much I was puuting into him without getting nothing in return made me back off and try to shut off my emotions. 

For a while it was OK,  I backed off on texting him cause short one worded convos were not cool. Like I said we'd go weeks to months not talking. We’re both working and busy,  so that wasn't too much of a stretch. 

But I did cave a few times and he surprised me in contacting me. 

And now... I'm off facebook,  I deleted his pictures from my phone,  I haven't deleted him or old text messages yet from my phone or laptop. 

But I'll get there.. .eventually.